Pamela's Blog 23

Published on Friday, June 12, 2009 by Nas2EndWork.org

“Gennenice Chapman Johnson”

by Pamela Satterwhite

A year and a half ago I put a little “request for submissions” in my neighbors’ letter slots, thinking that if we started sharing our stories with each other it might…help nurture a little reality in all the artificiality…help us ‘see’ each other. I said, if you’re willing to share a little of yourself, I’m willing to collect the offerings and redistribute them back.

Only one person took me up on it, a beautiful woman in her late thirties with an infectious grin and an incongruously shy manner.

She slipped in my box a poem titled “Pain.”

She died June 3rd, and I’d like to say thank you Gennenice, for your courage...and for sharing it.

Pain

Pain is a word that can be very hurtful to people. It can break up family members and friends. It also can break up a damn good marriage. It mostly hurts people with kids. Some people don’t deserve to be hurt. Hurt is like a badass disease. And to me it spreads like the fucking flag.

Pain is when sometimes you catch yourself just thinking about some things. That’s when you might get hurt more. As far as I go, I myself got hurt more than once. The first time was in August 1, 1985. I was at least 13 when my step-father first tried to rape me. The second time it happened he hurt me more this time because I was three fucking months pregnant. It happened on July 14, 1990. My fucking stepfather called and told me that he had a gift for my unborn child. So I went over to his house and that’s when he decided to fucking rape me. He told me to take my clothes off, and yes, I was so scared of him.

That’s one of the fucking reasons why I don’t give a damn about the motherfucking pigs, because they let him go. I knew if it happened in my home town then it would have not gone like that.

When I got to see my father and told him what happened to me in California, my daddy was so ready, to come out here and kill my step-father. I have my mother’s body and part of her and my father’s attitude. But you see I’m an Aries and I make it mines. I can be the nicest person on earth until someone cross me. I can be a bitch at times, even to my family and friends.

This is to my large family.

Pain is like a word that can hurt a lot. It also stands for disabled people. Yes, there are a lot of disabled people in the world. I would say at least half the people in the world, that over half the people, have a disability. Some people you can tell right away. On the other hand, you can’t tell if people are disabled or not unless they tell you. You can’t judge a book or people by the way they look. Some people don’t know that I have sickle cell anemia and seizures unless I tell them, for instance. There’s a lot of people that is disabled but you would not know that unless they get sick.

By the way, hate is a disability.

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Pamela's Blog 23

Published on Friday, June 12, 2009 by Nas2EndWork.org

“Gennenice Chapman Johnson”

Pain